


Jealous Moonlight

by PainterMonster86



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Again, Alternate Universe - Twins, Headcanon, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Satsuki is an asshole to everyone but Natsuki, Twincest, is it thou?, just the two of them being very close when one is mildly horny, mildly horny, please ignore them, this also contain some bullshit about being an idol, very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21916768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PainterMonster86/pseuds/PainterMonster86
Summary: A [guilty pleasure] day off with the Shinomiya Twin!
Relationships: Shinomiya Natsuki/Shinomiya Satsuki
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Jealous Moonlight

To him, it was always the right thing to do.

He never had any real interest in the whole idol thing. But an idol was what Natsuki had wanted to be, and to be by his brother’s side; what would’ve become of Satsuki. Enrolled Saotome Academy, made sure both were in the same class,…it would’ve been perfect if they had shared the same dorm room too but Saotome’s magic just couldn't be easily tampered with. Anyway, Satsuki was pretty sure he gave that Kurusu more than enough reasons not to get in his or Natsuki’s ways. He did that to almost anyone that could potentially be a threat (with one notable exception was that Haruka girl). In the end, those days at the academy were in Satsuki’s perfect control and judging by what he saw in Natsuki, his brother did have a decent experience. He succeeded in protecting his precious Natsuki from all harms.

All but himself.

It started so subtly he almost didn't notice it, but day after day, something surely was crawling at his heart. Annoyed when anyone looked at his brother too longingly, troubled when he spent too much time with someone else, agitated when he wasn't in Satsuki's vision and the most dangerous one of all, craved for him desperately. For what, exactly? Satsuki was too afraid to answer. He normally would chalk all of those feelings up as a simple need to make sure his twin was safe, but the better part of him knew it wasn't the truth. His corruption was getting in Natsuki's way and soon it would taint the other, taint his pure moonlight forever.

So Raging's offer was like a life-saving deal to him, as absurd as it sounded.

After the little incident at that HAYATO concert, numerous offers came his way, from big and small companies alike. He could debut earlier under Shining Ent too; apparently, Shining Saotome was quite pleased with his performance. "Befitting for a rock star!", Saotome nearly broke his back with that one slap. With someone who only mildly interested in the performing aspect of music, Satsuki, surprisingly, appreciated the recognition. But being in the same company as Natsuki, who would undoubtedly debut in Shining Ent with STARISH, was still too close for comfort. So when the invitation letter from Ranging Ent came, Satsuki gladly took the offer. He would be in the perfect distance from his brother, not close enough to make him lose control of himself, not too far for him to lose control of the situation. And besides, the thought of the most famous artist in Ranging Ent being a former Saotome Academy student brought a bizarre taste of irony to Satsuki. All in all, a perfect plan.

Satsuki rocked the stages solo and Natsuki shone with STARISH, rivaling in this unforgiving industry. But when the curtains were drawn and the lights faded, they returned to who they really wanted to be – brothers. Of course, being newly debuted stars, they were not allowed to have their place yet, at least for Natsuki, and their schedule rarely shared any day off. But when they did, they were inseparable.

Like how today would be.

Satsuki was always an early riser, even more so when being an idol and separated from his brother. _[He would never miss being the first to greet Natsuki in the morning]_. He had cleaned the house the day before, despite how exhausted he was from the photoshoot, so all that left to do was doing double takes, triple even. He would drive Natsuki from the Shining Dorm but the younger insisted on taking the bus by himself to get some “surprises” for him. Satsuki did not care for nor want any gift, _[all he wanted was the other by his side]_ , but he couldn’t deny his brother’s endearment _[not when his voice was so soft and pleading]._

Pacing around and around in his apartment did not calm him down _[is this how withdrawal feels like?]_. Right when he was contemplating whether or not he should just drive the other anyway, the doorbell rang.

Saved by the bell, huh.

Standing at the doorway, more brilliant than any sunrise, was [his] Natsuki.

“Good morning Sacchan! I baked you cookies today” – Natsuki cheerfully showed the wrapped package, Piyo-chan patterned, as usual, tied with a lemon yellow ribbon. Cute.

“Is that so.” – Satsuki took the cookies and set them on the nearby stand, his free hand pulled the younger closer for an embrace – “I love it, but you being so late would not be forgiven with cookies alone! I was so worried you know.”

Natsuki giggled, snuggled closer to his brother

“Sorry, the new route is a bit longer than I expected” – _[the breath at his neck feels right]_

“Where did the birdies lead you to this time?”

“A super cute toy shop! They have the fluffiest stuffed animals on display! I would’ve come in and see if they have any Piyo-chan merchandise, but I knew you were waiting for me.”

Satsuki hummed, buried in the other’s soft hair. He never understood how his twin can talk to animals, but at the same time, it was no surprise even the Creator adore this angel _[not more than he does, however]._

He could spend the whole day just holding Natsuki like this _[or even closer],_ but the younger had other things in mind. He pulled from the embrace and linked their hands together instead.

“What should we do now?”

Leading the younger inside, Satsuki feigned a thoughtful hum:

“Hmm, I could drive you to the zoo, your animal friends certainly would love to see you; we can enjoy your cookies with some drinks from that café shop you found a week ago… Anywhere you want.”

“I think movies at home with you is fine, I spent time outside…too much lately, anyway.”

Satsuki turned around to face his brother, who only looked down at their linked hands, didn’t say anything further. Must’ve been some really rough weeks. He didn’t have things easy, himself, but seeing Natsuki would always pacify him. He would do anything to make the younger feel better, anything. So Satsuki pulled his brother down on the sofa with him, and once again, hold the other close _[and would not let him go]_

“Then I’ll be here with you, just the two of us.”

Looked at _[his]_ Natsuki in the eyes, so close their foreheads were touching, every breath was shared and words could be heard even if they were just mere whispering.

“So be here with me too, will you?”

As suddenly as it was in slow motion at the same time, Satsuki watched the other’s eyes glimmered and tears pooled from those gentle gaze. Like night clouds veiled the sliver full moon and suddenly there was a downpour, Natsuki sobbed and his hands couldn’t hide all the pitiful sound. This sent the older into a panic. Did he say something wrong? Was the stress this bad? What happened in those past weeks? How didn’t he hear anything from anyone in the agency, in the group, from Kurusu?

_[HIS NATSUKI WAS IN PAIN! WHO DID THIS? WHO DID THIS? **WHO FUCKING DID THIS?** ]_

Satsuki reached you to hold the younger [touching him was always calming] but Natsuki curled himself further away. His words barely came out coherent between choked whimpers

“Pl…please don’t b…be so gentle with…me. I don’t… don’t deserve it… I’m such a b…bad person…I don’t…”

The raging storm in Satsuki only grew stronger at that, he needed his gentle moonlight to guide him through. Hands reaching through the downpour, Satsuki brought his brother back in his embrace again, held him tight despite Natsuki’s weaker and weaker protest.

Tried to be as collected as he could, Satsuki spoke again when the other’s sob died down:

“Oh my silly little brother, what are you talking about? Of course, I have to be gentle with you…because…we are brothers” _[this is the truth?]_ “twin at that. I’ll take great care of you…”

Ran his callous fingers through the younger’s silky strands, then along his _[identical]_ jawline and lightly tilled his face so their eyes could meet, Satsuki let out the tiniest sign and his words came out as soft murmurs

“I care for you more than anything…brother. So don’t say such a thing like that again.”

“But I…I had all these awful fe…feelings about you, about my brother…of all people…”

That sent a chill down Satsuki’s spine, as the storm turned to a full blizzard. Questions he was too afraid to know the answer spinning and clawing in his head, pulling him deeper and deeper into the unforgiving darkness. The scariest part was, he wanted that, wanted the darkness to swallow him _[swallow his moonlight too]_

_[Swallow him? Make him mine?]_

“Calm down, Natsuki. Do you trust me?” – His voice sounded so distant, lost in the howling blizzard. Did it come out too forceful, too cold? He didn’t know.

The younger gave a small nod at that anyway. Natsuki swallowed and took a deep breath before speaking again:

“I…I grew jealous of you, Sacchan. To the point, I wish you hadn’t become famous.”

Fuck the metaphor. Satsuki wanted to stop thinking.

He barked out a laugh, a too-loud one. His moonlight, his pure moonlight, looking at him so confused. How could he doubt for even a moment that his innocent brother could be so corrupted like him? What a joke!

“Sacchan…why…” - Natsuki began to tear up again, confused and a little frustrated with his twin.

“I…I’m sorry, I was just…ahaha…I’m sorry, Nacchan.”

Satsuki finally calmed himself down again, gently held the upset Natsuki’s hands, he tried his best to not cause his brother any more distress:

“How so, Nacchan? Do you wish to go solo like me too? Don’t have to share the stage light with anyone anymore?”

“No, no of course not! I won’t give up my STARISH for anything, they are a family as much as you are to me.”

“Then what do I have that make my Nacchan so jealous of me? My handsomeness? My never-ending long legs? My shinning wavy blonde hair that shines like the sun?” With each question, Satsuki placed a tiny peck on Natsuki’s face, kissed away the tears on the younger’s cheeks, kissed the gentle happiness back to his feature, anywhere the older could reach _[but not on the lips, not yet, not yet]._ Natsuki - always so keen on physical contact, his brother’s especially – soon got back to a cheerier mood, giggled at the teasing.

“Nooo, none of those! I have them too! I’m your twin, remember?”

“Then what is it? You make me awfully curious now y’know!” Satsuki faked a whine, rested his head on his brother’s shoulder.

Natsuki looked down at this again, but this time, before any tear could form, he spoke what had been clouded his mind lately

“People prefer you over me…I’ve seen…a lot of online stuff lately, they said although we have the same face, you’re so much cooler and attractive and I’m just too…childish.”

“Natsuki…”

“And I thought…maybe if it were just one of us being famous it wouldn’t have happened, maybe if you weren’t a singer…people would have looked at me more…”

“You know, if you wanted to, I would quit singing for you.” , Satsuki nonchalantly added. It wasn’t far from the truth. The act of singing itself wasn’t appealing enough anyway; he preferred composing a lot more. Most importantly, he could do anything for his brother’s brilliant smile, himself be damned, but he knew his precious Nacchan wouldn’t let such a thing happen.

“No! You can’t do that!” Natsuki held the other’s shoulders. “Wasn’t singing what you’d wanted to do the most? You could not just give up your dream so easily like that! And…and I would not let you do that either!”

“Even if people would prefer me over you?” His words came out as soft as a feather, but all the same, Natsuki’s tears flowed free once again.

“Y...yes, even that! I just really, really love seeing you perform on stage and hearing the passion in your voice when you sing…How could I…how could I think of such an awful thing like stopping you from singing when I love it so much…”

His brother’s words blended with tears, pouring and pouring like fuel for Satsuki’s strange desire. He wanted to swallow all those little sobs and mellow sounds, feel them run through his veins and burnt his body. Those words, those soft “love” that came from the sweetest lips, he knew what they truly meant, but, all the same, they electrified him, electrified his heart, made it beat so fast he wondered if it would burst and let all of his lechery flow free. Flown and drown him like how he drown in his brother mellifluous cry of love for him.

Thumbing away hot tears on the other’s cheeks, Satsuki relished in the feel of soft skin against his fingertips. He might have lingered there for a bit too long, but Natsuki would never mind. His precious, innocent Nacchan leaned against his calloused palm, and teary olive green eyes were all he could see.

It was so easy to drown and gave in, but the gentle moonlight could never reach the bottom of the deep dark sea, could it? His brother needed him, so he could not drown.

“Then, do you want to stop being an idol, in fear of comparison like that?”

Almost immediately, came the younger’s reply

“Of course not! But…should I change my image…or…”

Satsuki sat up straight, brought himself away from his brother’s warmth. It was no longer a conversation between the Shinomiya twin anymore but between Satsuki the rising rock star and Natsuki the shining idol – rivals in the music industry.

“What do you want to change yourself into? More mature? More serious? Or…more like me?”

Natsuki contemplated the idea for a little bit, then let out a sigh:

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want, or even if I wanted to change or not. I could not help but feel so excited on stage, or in front of cute things! How could anyone do that anyway! And becoming more like you is totally out of the question. I could never be you! You are way cooler and more awesome than me. Even if I somehow made it; I would be a carbon copy of you; there is no point in doing such a thing!”

His Natsuki had grown so much, it seemed.

“It is not uncommon for idols to change their image over time, human change, all of us do. But idols are their image, their stage presence, and that is all the audience sees. So it is more ideal for the image to change slowly over time or when the idol themselves have changed completely. Forced changes or even forced unchanged would cause the idol severe stress and broke their image at the same time. If I’m not mistaken, that Ichinose in your group suffered from the same problem a while back?”

“You’re the one who trashed his show…”

“He needed it. Anyway…”

With that, Satsuki stood up and went to his bedroom. There was something he intended to show the younger as a surprise on his birthday but now was the more perfect time. Natsuki watched as the older came back with a handful of paper, or upon closer look, letters. At the puzzled look, Satsuki’s only response was to gently open one letter and held the paper between them so they could read its content together.

They were fan letters to Satsuki, filled with standard praising and gushing over the blonde rock star, wishing him all the good thing and wanting more of his presence. What caught Natsuki’s attention the most was not the cutesy decoration, like usual, but rather the content of those letters. Each of them mentioned Natsuki; length varying from just a few lines in the p/s section, to a whole paragraph and even half a letter was about him, in one special case. Their intentions were varying as well. There were praises on how cute the twin looked going out together, how Satsuki looked so genuinely happy by his brother’s side, how the differences in their styles complement each other, making them the perfect idol twin...

“These…” Natsuki was in awe.

“They are all for me but it seems like the fan would not stop expressing their love for you here anyway”. Rested his head on the other’s shoulder once again, Satsuki watched with satisfaction at his brother’s reaction to this “little surprise”. Worth his effort going through thousands of meaningless praises for him to find a few couples for his dearest brother.

“And you receive a lot of these adorations daily, yes?” Satsuki added softly.

“Yes, I read all of them myself, after all”

“Your fans truly love you and your style. Those comparisons are minor to their appreciation of you, isn’t it true?”

“Yes…it is.”

“Furthermore…” One light touch was all it took to get Natsuki’s attention. Satsuki held the younger’s gaze with his own. He wanted, needed his brother to understand this so bad.

“I love you…even if the whole world doesn’t feel the same”

He could talk forever about how much he treasured the other, but at the same time, he knew words were never enough. _[And did he want the other to know?]_

For a moment, maybe Natsuki did.

Even so, the changes were so subtly, they vanished with a blink of the eyes. Or was it there at all? Natsuki looked away before the older could make sense of anything. There was just a light chuckle, and when Natsuki turned to his brother again, the same radiant smile seemed so foreign.

“I’m a bit hungry now. Let’s have cookies!” The warm, cheery voice sent the coldest chill down Satsuki’s spine.

“Yeah…let’s do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working on another piece featuring a different take on the Shinomiyas. This ship is quite common on pixiv but not on here sooooo...  
> Huge thanks to forestofsecrets for helping me with the introduction of this work, and with writing in general!


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